Saturday, February 27, 2010

Holy Crap! This guy WAILS!

I wish I knew more about where this was taken or even who that is...freaking amazing!

My Art Is :D

Get ready...get set...ALTERRRR ART!

And they're off to complete their Your Art Is Love project. My bestie Super M has had a brilliant idea and you can find all the nitty gritty details here! But just so you know all you need is a standard sheet of printer paper and some effort to transform it into a work of art based on this quote:

“Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery 
Get yourself involved in something you can follow online at the Your Art Is Love blogspot! Get your kids and friends involved...the more the merrier! Give to the altered art book and make your love your art in the process.

Also, don't forget to add this lovely button to your website or blog to share your love and your art with the world!


Remember to follow the basic rules and have a blast, I'll be submitting mine to be scanned in once I fully see my idea within the theme and scope of this project! Be on the look out world! 

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Crocheting! Simply NOT out of style...

While Crocheting is looked upon as the old way of doing things it just simply is not as out of date as many young women/men seem to think it is. Practical, yes...and I can see how some old 70's acrylic pea green and yellow throw can make it seem like like something only grandmothers do as an embarrassing arts & crafts project...but it really is the logical choice when you are talking about making something practical and warm that will be around for ages. But don't think chunky yarn and size 10 hooks are the only things you can use. Lace weight yarns and threading can make some of the most beautiful garments and doilies that will not only be a welcomed gift, but also something your children and grandchildren will remember and fight over (or request in those nice families lol) upon your passing.

Pros of Crochet:
  1. Cost efficient hooks are cheaper than needles and though it seems that crocheting takes up more yarn, if you adjust your patterns or simply freehand it takes up about 3/4 of the yarn that knitting takes for similar clothing items.
  2. Practical. Not everything is beautiful, but everything is useful and if you plan on living sustainably I would suggest at least picking up the basics to make things from your knitting scraps like pot holders and dish scrubbers.
  3. Quick. After a little practice and getting the basics down you can whip out a hat in about thirty minutes, a pot scrubber in about 15...and a granny square in about 10. Honestly! It doesn't take long at all and that could also relate back to practical.
Of course there are a lot of beautiful things you can create with knitting...but it usually costs a bit more, is just as practical, is not usually quick, but does turn out beautifully. If eye pleasing things are your bag, I think you might find a better home in the land of Knitopia. However, if you are a practical go-getter, like myself, then you might find your happy home in the land of Crochetville. Simple living begets simply living...

I made a few neat little patch-type pieces for Super M today. A few lacey patches, a few rounds, and three snowflakes that are wee (about 3/4 in.) and blue.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Babies and fail...parents and more fail...and taxes which is synonymous with fail.

So, tonight...why is there so much fail in the world? Tonight we hear frantic knocking at the door and a man screaming that there was a two year old freezing, walking in the parking lot. We can never be sure in this neighborhood so we yell through the door to go call the cops and they grabbed a blanket took the kid in and did so. Hubs goes outside to see what all the fuss is about plus to make sure the boy is safe. Police come, pack of people walk baby boy back to his apartment. Cop leaves. WTF!? Anywhere else this would have been on the news! OH but we're in the GHETTO APARTMENTS. This means the police can ignore the situation AND that those people dodge public ridicule. /FAIL Parents.

The baby insisted on playing her little piano for like 20 minutes straight today. It went something like this: Tap a few notes, mumble, tap a few more, look at mommy for approval, mommy claps and says "good job," get excited, slam fists down on all four keys, tap a few notes...repeat. She's speshool. lol. She also had a moment of fail today where she was standing at the chair holding on with one hand and feeling her tongue, which was sticking straight out, with her other. She started wobbling, lost her grip and fell backward onto her bottom. She ended up biting into her tongue a bit so it bled, rinsed her mouth out with saltwater (which she hated and is still holding a grudge over lol) and put on orajel. She surprisingly only cried for a minute...but whined for a few more. /Fail baby.

Then we go to E-file our taxes today, we should be getting especially needed amounts of money back, but NOOOO. Someone decided that since my name Candace Rhae Moore didn't match with what's on my Social Security card that I shouldn't be allowed to file. Um...what about the last 28 effing years!? When I was either being claimed or filing for myself? Oh, I'm sorry that should be last 23 years...since for the first five years of my life you had me listed as Candace...then SOMEHOW I mysteriously get changed to Candi Rhae at age five.

Little background: Got SS card at birth, Gma had it, mother went to reapply for another card at age five (must not have known about other SS card) and somehow changed my name from what's on my Birth Certificate (Candace) to my nickname (Candi) {no worries my mother is a nitwit}. Lost card Gma had at 14 went to apply for new one at 16 and had to keep reapplying for 8 years. Finally, stumbled upon someone who'd help me, got card sent to me, noticed it said Candi Rhae Moore. Confused Candi doesn't think anything of it, just a blunder, finally a few years later asks "lady aka condescendingbiotch (see posts below)" at the SS office about it, she proclaims someone changed it. How the HELL could someone have changed my name on my SS card if they weren't changing it legally? Can you tell me that? I had NOTHING like medical records or school forms under the name Candi ever, sooo? Just someone at the SS office effing up my life right alongside my horrimother. It never ends, ya know? So, until I can go get a valid ID and then show it to the people at the SS office to get it changed...we can't file our taxes. WTF? I say again...WTF?

So wish me luck over the week as I struggle to simply...file our taxes. Also wish the hubs luck as he is going to be taking his oral defense/exam for his Master's Degree tomorrow morning.

Currently working on: Will Dave Matthews correspond with me about the apartheid? Will anyone, for that matter? I want to teach little Nixie about how far racism can go, and how beyond ignorant it is to dislike someone based on how they look. I just need a few people to write out their experiences and send them to me so that I can use them as a teaching tool down the road, but I'm afraid everyone involved will be getting older, and the firsthand experiences getting older and less passionate or dying with them all together. I just want the next generation to have something physical to hold in their hot little hands that shows how someone survived horrible tragedies like apartheid, 1950's and 60's US segregation, and the holocaust. If you know anyone who lived through those (or other) significant periods in our world's history...I can't tell you what it would mean to us to have more than the standard diaries and published books...but a real persons handwriting and a story about what they went through or a lesson they learned because of another persons misplaced hatred. Thank you...until next time!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Maintenance needs a tune-up!


Maintenance finally came...TODAY. After only NINE phone calls, staining on the ceiling, more water dripping along the inside of the wall of the closet next to Nixie's bed, and telling them our ceiling is about to fall in (a little fib, but almost the truth, give it a few more days). Maintenance guy finally came by to tell us there's NOTHING he or they can do until the ice sheet comes off the back of our apartment and that they've had a meeting with the property manager who said the same thing. Which means what to us? I'm unsure now. We already have half our living room furniture in the middle of our living room and now there's water in my baby's room (my baby who was born 3 months early and as a result has BPD) running down behind the walls.

This means we have to empty the closet behind that corner of the wall and put it...where? I have no clue we already have our walk in filled with the things that were in the nursery before it was a nursery. I guess we'll just keep packing the boxes with books and moving things into giant piles of things that we don't use daily. This certainly has been the motivation we needed to get packing so we can get the hell out of here.

So, I have been looking through apartments and other rentals in Yellow Springs, OH. It's a wonderful little village community with such diversity and it will give me the opportunity to meet with and hopefully, make friends with even more like minded individuals. I can just plop the baby in the stroller and walk to the market *zomgz market not grocery store yay* and pick up fresh veggies and meats. I also need to invest in a steamer, as a side note, so when I re-read this blog later I'll remember lol. I'll be able to stop using plastic grocery bags and I'll minimize the hubs' multiple trips driving to the store each week. I'll also have a nice place to walk around and have picnics and go hiking...all the things little kids like in the out of doors. Hopefully I'll be able to find an apartment to look at quickly and move in even quicker. I just can't take this b.s. anymore. This will also take me one step closer to "the dream" of moving onto our own sustainable land by getting to know and work with different types of people. Living in a village has its difficulties and its perks but all in all it is what you make it. Another plus: it's not a big town affected by urban sprawl which is a HUGE problem here in Ohio.

Just thought I owed all of you an update on our maintenance fail. I don't know where to go from here that won't get us an early eviction while we can't afford one. PS I've called the police FIVE times on the "man" downstairs and still...nothing...nothing. This is ridiculous. I feel so trapped. A lot like this poor kitty.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Maintenance Fail and Parental Mishaps

For future reference I would like to state to all of you as my witnesses that I am totally writing the BBB, Columbus Housing Board, my apartment complexes corporate office, and any newspaper that will have anything to do with me.

Just an update: two more calls later, talking directly with Eric (maintenance guy who said he'd be out in an hour), and waiting waiting waiting...and no one. NO ONE. Did I mention not a single person seems to care that their property may be falling down!? Turns out we're one of FOUR units experiencing the same thing. The lady at the office gave him the wrong address (HOW HARD IS YOUR JOB LADY FOR FECKS SAKE). I'm sitting here and the dripping has slowed to a stop,'s refreezing for the night. Tomorrow morning we may not have a ceiling...

Just thought I'd vent my frustration here. I'd also like to tell you a little about parenting. It's hard as shit! It's rewarding for certain, but it's damned hard. Newborns to teething to the next grumpy fuss stage. It doesn't matter your approach to solving these issues either. Natural, chemical, somewhere in between...because kids have a mind of their own. Period >.< End of story. You can raise your kid in front of the TV like my generation, or in front of a radio like a few generations before. You can give them plenty of grassy foods and exercise them or feed them a good moderate mix of foods including a few fats and then let them stay inside playing DDR all day. You can buy them toys, it doesn't matter what kind. You can purchase clothes new or recycle by going to the thrift store. You can breast feed or bottle feed...and you know what...your child will still end up the good-natured, well-rounded example you feed them. Outside of the obvious health benefits of a few of these doesn't make you any less a parent if you do what you NEED to do in order to live your life and get things cleaned up and DONE. For example: Duct Tape Baby. There's nothing wrong with that. Honestly, it was for a photo op...and for serious it's not called 55MPH tape for nothing. LMAO.

Can I also call out for people without children  to stop exclaiming what is wrong with the way this person or that person is "effing up" their children. For real, do you have kids yourself? I mean a kid in your face 24/7 365? NO? OK then...all you have are IDEAS that have no basis in REALITY. Unless you've been Super Nanny get out of my face with your BS psycho babble (that you read about or heard about somewhere without doing extensive fact checking or looking at opposing view points) about how if your kid looks at the color salmon for longer than five minutes a day they'll become brain-dead, K? K!

If it's not blatant abuse verbal, sexual, or physical...keep your nose out of other people's business and your snarky ass remarks contained to your own family and your own home. I understand general concern for the physical/mental well-being of any child, it's natural...but seriously, if a parent can keep their child busy doing something for 15 minutes so they can fold a load of laundry, or finish up dinner, BRAVO to them for being able to clean, make dinner, and raise a kiddo. Not to mention those working or single moms. I won't tell you how to raise yours if you stay out of my face about mine.

Pretend we each have hamsters and use different food and bedding but all in all our hamsters are happy and healthy and love to play with each other. Suggestions are always welcome but shoulda woulda coulda's can find their way to the door. Ahhhthankyouverymuch.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The NIGHT of Terror in Apartment Manor!

So we return from our Day of Terror yesterday to the apartment thinking we could come in and unwind some more before bed. As soon as we get in we are bombarded with TERRIBAD Europop and other such guitar playing/awful singing sounds like cats dying from the downstairs apartment. AGAIN. Note that I have called the apartment complex about them twice and the police department four times prior to last night about their disturbances. They wake my baby girl up in the middle of the night by cranking up the volume as soon as they turn on their awesome stereo system (that shouldn't be allowed in an apt. complex to begin with). I mean, all the way up, then immediately back down...just to irritate the entire building. I think we've all called on them. They bring their skanks back for a night of drinking and music playing/getting diseases...and this can go on from about 9pm off and on to about 5am. Yeah, and it happens more often than not. Weekdays and all. They also turn their music on in the afternoon (I think they deal drugs or have some other kind of profession that allows them to stay home all day) and wake Nix up from her naps. ANYWAY:

Back to the point at hand. I go to the restroom and then to the bedroom to call the police, relating the back story above. They take note and say they'll send someone out. They must have sent someone close by because we hear knocking (which they almost never answer) then we hear them shut off their music and SLAM their door. About 30 minutes later they're back at it...hardcore louder than before but the baby is asleep and I don't have the patience to call the police in a CALM manner and everyone else is asleep.

In the meantime (between the police coming and everyone crashing) we discover a leak in our ceiling...DIRECTLY OVER OUR COMPUTER DESK! OMGWTFBBQ!

< < < see the water droplets?

How long has this been leaking!? OH NO HELP!?

So we call the office to get transferred to the emergency maintenance number, I mean the whole corner of the room is sagging and it's like a pipe busted upstairs or something (we asked upstairs neighbors and it's not wet up there so it's something under their flooring). We forget to leave a call back number so we call AGAIN...that's TWO count them TWO times to the EMERGENCY maintenance number. We don't get a visit, a return phone call, NOTHING. We could have been without HEAT with an 11 month old BABY!? They just don't care.

The hubs called the apt. complex again this morning and left a message about it because it wasn't fixed. Then had to call AGAIN after we went grocery shopping this afternoon at 1pm. It's now 3:13 and no return call and no maintenance and our ceiling is sagging and turning colors. I am worried about mold and a slew of other things, and it turns out...hmm they just don't give a shit.

The most important thing that happened last night:

Why YES that IS our fucking computer! DOUCHEWADS! I am SO PISSED OFF at this point I don't know what to do. Our computer desk is soaked, two mouses a keyboard a wide screen monitor AND our tower...all soaked...ALL.EFFING.SOAKED! Yes, that's also our checkbook, a few gifts people gave us, the mouse in the picture isn't even was borrowed for gaming...and now Super M and hubby Phil are finding out via blog that it got water logged. I am letting every thing sit in front of a fan for about a week before I try anything else out. But this means, not only was our graphics card already on the way out, we now might need a brand new computer.

This means I'm on the laptop and my blogs are going to be infrequent for a little while. We really need to figure this all out. Thankfully we have renters insurance. We just need to figure out if they cover water damage...oh gods, I hope so. Water stopped dripping over night and started again this afternoon. Might be pipes freezing/thawing. Who knows, maintenance sure doesn't care to! GAH! *insert angry expletives in explosive strings here* Never mind my potpie bowl and open pack of batteries (JUST replaced in keyboard and mouse) pictured here.

Your thoughts and prayers of pain to my neighbors and apartment complex owners are well deserved and desired. I know, I'm so pessimistic sometimes. Any suggestions of what to do with the whole computer system and how to lodge a complaint against our complex are requested. Until I can get back on the laptop and blog again (probably tonight lol) have a great day and a groovy night. I'm off to learn something that'll make my day a little brighter that I can share with all of you later. Toodles.

The DAY of Terror in Social Securitylandia!

It started out as a day unlike any other. Though a few days before I knocked over a glass of water onto my phone and now it's ALL kinds of messed up, so if you've called/texted me my phone doesn't light up for longer than thirty seconds before I have to shut it and open it might want to keep trying me. Now back to your irregularly scheduled blog:

The MIL came to help with the baby, we trudged to the Social Security office to get baby Nixie her SS card. We wait upward of 30-45 minutes bombarded with the "Awww isn't she cute's" and stares that comes with having any normal looking to adorable child. We get called back to visit the most condescending SS officiant ever. She actually (after she noted my ID was expired) said to me "'re not driving around on this are you?" No shit's expired and it's only an ID not a Driver's License! I'm so sick of Eff Wads with "titles." Then she remarks that my baby is grumpy because she made a noise while my MIL was holding her because she wanted down, but less than FIVE SECONDS went by and she was quiet again. She also threw in there that I should make sure to put the baby's coat back on before I go outside...come on! Just because I arrive at an office (that you work at) in the ghetto doesn't mean I totally neglect my children. I just might put in a complaint on this mega-biotch. Anyway, turns out I signed something at the hospital (FAIL MIAMI VALLEY FAIL) that makes them put in for a SSN right then and there. Miami Valley just had the wrong address so someone could be out there right now posing as my child using her SS card and number. This country is stupid someone move me and my family/friends to Europe QUICK!

So, now "condescendingbiotch" says to me: you can't get a card for her because we can't prove you're you without an ID...EXCUSE MOI!? I have three picture ID's my SS card and birth certificate. Who ELSE would I be? I had proven that she was the baby the card was for...but it's not good enough because my ID was expired? WTF SS? Anyway, we get the printout with her SS Number on it for tax purposes. Apparently they'll just hand out those to anyone, but NO not the official card that they sent to an old address because the hospital I was at didn't look at my re-admittance forms. So, then we're off back to the apartment to wait on the husband to return from putting in his rough draft of his Master's Thesis.

He gets home, I unload, and suggest hitting The Hong Kong Buffet here in Columbus, OH because it's PHENOMENAL! I mean, if you couldn't tell from the scent when you walk in you might be swayed by the fact that 75% of the diners you're seated with are Asian and it's right next to an Asian market lol. We head off to an awesome dinner where the MIL feeds the Baby Nix some tapioca wonderfulness. She eats some baba, goes back in her carseat, gets her customary Lucky Asian Ducky from the quarter machines as we leave and off we go for a relaxing car ride as we digest this wonderful meal of shrimp, crab, mushrooms, eggplant, wonton soup, and butter chicken.

As we are driving around I spot the most awesome sign ever!!! I mean EPIC! We drove past and I was laughing hysterically. The Hubs agreed that we must turn around and photograph said sign of wonder and delight and you'll find it below for your enjoyment and pleasure:

 Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen...The Fur Vault (and no it's not an adult superstore) is having a FUR BLOW OUT! Lest I repeat: the words blow out are not to be uttered UNLESS you are referring to your tires or your pants! Referencing BLOW OUT and FUR in the same sentence is enough to drive a woman to hysterical laughter. This was the highlight of my entire night! The remainder was quite terrible. I will relive last night in my next blog...coming VERY soon! <3 to you Fur Vault.

Moon Pad Saga Pt. 2

SO! I have had the WORST few days currently possible and have been held off from my blog NOOOO! I'll post more on that in the subsequent blogs!

For now I bring you Vlog Part Deux!

More Moon Pad Mania Coming Soon!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Thursday's Blog On The Tuesday After! (Moon Pad Saga Pt. 1)

So, on Thursday (Feb 4th) I was taken down to the bestie M's house and left there with an agenda and a teething baby. I know, total contradiction.

We were going to make Moon Pads! And by we, I totally mean mostly Michelle! LOL. I was dog tired most of the time I was there, in some serious back pain, and dealing with my little Nixie's tooth cutting fiasco all through the night. Thankfully, I got at least half of the moon pads cut out after our rad trip to the thrift store (10 bucks for the material for 25 moon pads) and we got lots of Vlogging done.

She (Super M) ended up cutting out the rest of the templates and sewing all of them on Friday night while I napped with Nixie. Afterward we stayed up to all hours of the night Vlogging our little minds out about Moon Pads, the natural or greener way to deal with our womanly cycles. This is a very important subject to myself and now to M as she realizes the health benefits and impact our monthly cycles (and TMI her lack of them) makes on the Earth and on our own bodies.

We thought it wise to include a very informative, if not painfully long (so we broke it down into enjoyable short segments), talk about the effects of those nasty smelly bleached tampons and diaper-like pads on your body (yeah, think cancer causing agents) and on the landfills (and beaches of the world). So without further ado...ok so a little more ado...this first part is a little history of the menstruation products and the "dirty shame" that women have been pre-programmed to feel about the natural part of themselves by leaders of states and religions through the ages. Also a short bit about re-using products and shopping at thrift stores.

Here is PART ONE of the MOON PAD SAGA:
(please excuse my lip consumption and excessive hand talking it helps me think)

ends with the development of disposable "sanitary" napkins in the 1920's. I'll have M upload the second part of this saga either tonight or tomorrow and we'll go on learning about the health risks that plague our population of women because of the use of disposables!

Stay tuned for PART TWO!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Blogging for the sake of survival.

I have been otherwise occupied over this last weekend, only to come home to the blue screen of death. I am on the husband's work laptop, of which I will have limited usage. So, today I will type up the fun exciting...or something like that...blogs you're used to. Detailing the exciting world of Moon Pads and my ultra fun time with my bestie Michelle! If you are in a hurry you check out part one of the Moon Pad/ Women's Health saga seek her blog here!

I will return tomorrow/later tonight with a well manufactured blog for your reading enjoyment.

P.S. Today I learned that I really should spend more time sleeping in the evening with the baby and to wake up with her at about 2 or 3am only to start my day while she sleeps her last four hours. It's brilliant!

Picture totally stolen from M's blog! My Daughter Nixie the Snow Pixie!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

These are a few of my favorite things!

So here it goes, the longest list of favorites in history. Maybe you'll get a better sense of who I am through my answers to these favorite things:

Favorite Word: Onomatopoeia
Favorite Mystical Creature: Phoenix
Favorite Thing that Flies: Dragons or Dragonflies
Favorite Habit: Biting my Nails (shouldn't this be worst habit?)
Favorite Planet: Venus
Favorite Children's Book: The Brer Rabbit
Favorite Smell: Ozone (yes, as in that magical rain in the air and/or clean smell) 
Favorite Vacation: Washington D.C. 
Favorite Author: M.R. Sellars or V.C. Andrews
Favorite Ice Cream Topping: Hot Fudge & Peanuts
Favorite Type of Weather: All kinds. Me and Weather, we're buddies, we adapt and change to each others needs. It's magic! 
Favorite Soda: Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew
Favorite Season: Spring or Fall
Favorite Class: Managing Interpersonal Skills I&II
Favorite Holiday: Beltane (May Day, First of May, Beltaine, etc) then Samhain.
Favorite Serial Killer: Countess Elizabeth Bathory AKA "The Blood Countess" hence, Blood Bath.
Favorite Cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Favorite  Automobile: Buick Station Wagons! FTW!
Favorite Song: "Dream a Little Dream" ~ "Mama" Cass Elliot
Favorite Person Whose First Name is Wyatt: Earp.
Favorite Religion: Candi-ism
Favorite Hair Style: Finger Wave (think flappers)
Favorite Book: "Journey Into the Whirlwind" by Eugenia Ginzberg/"Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott 
Favorite  Country: Djibouti
Favorite State of Mind: Peaceful
Favorite Character: Jo March (Little Women)
Favorite Cartoon: Rocco's Modern Life
Favorite Nick at Night Show: The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (Maynard G. Krebs was my favorite character in that show Bob Denver was awesome)
Favorite Little Rascal: Stymie (gotta love a hobo con in a derby hat, c'mon you know he was adorable)
Favorite Saturday Night Live Actor: tough one Molly Shannon or Adam Sandler
Favorite Food: TACOS! 
Favorite Movie: Titus starring Anthony Hopkins
Favorite Meal: Dinner 
Favorite Alcoholic Beverage: Vodka 
Favorite Animal: Llamas and Alpacas
Favorite Utensil: Chopsticks
Favorite Fruit: Watermelon
Favorite Sentimental Movie: Beautiful Thing
Favorite Cheesy Horror Movie: The Saw Movies...once the third overwrote the first two...I was DONE.
Favorite Album: Right now, Lady Gaga: The Fame Monster; Of All Time, Fleetwood Mac: The Dance
Favorite Disease: Ummm? Non-infectious, I suppose. Maybe something that's like a bloop on your DNA strand but doesn't cause anyone any permanent damage or impairment?
Favorite Type Of Cheese: Munster
Favorite Age Group: Toddler
Favorite Arctic Animal: Arctic Fox
Favorite Magic Marker Smell: Grape
Favorite Shakespearean Play: Titus Andronicus (his work or not, it is accredited to him and my favorite, by far)
Favorite State: Ohio
Favorite Star Consolation: Oddly enough, Scorpio.
Favorite Stereotypical High School Clique: Band Nerds
Favorite Disney Movie: "The Aristocats"
Favorite Hair color: Red and Purple
Favorite Meat: Bacon!
Favorite Childhood Ailment: Chicken Pox
Favorite Dictator: Oxymoron much?
Favorite Hypothetical Situation: Finding a million dollars in unmarked bills outside my door with a note attached: This is for your dreams.
Favorite Alice in Wonderland Character: The Caterpillar
Favorite Body of Water: Gulf of Mexico
Favorite Position to Sleep In: On my right side
Fashion Trend (then or now): Poodle Skirts!
Favorite 80's Movie: toss up Ghostbusters (1984) and Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Favorite 80's song: Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
Favorite Epic Film: Hotel Rwanda (2004) so powerful...
Favorite Actor from the 50's or 60's:  James "Jimmy" Stewart
Favorite Cartoon Character: Daria
Favorite Pinup: Clara Bow
Favorite Stand-up comedian: Jeff Dunham and George Carlin (R.I.P.)
Favorite Place to go to be Creative: Out in the Woods.
Favorite Smell: Curry!
Favorite Hero/Villain: Wonder Woman/Angelica Pickles
Favorite Type of Industrial Solvent: Clorox Wipes
Favorite Old Woman Name: Pearl
Favorite Color for a Baby's Room: Purple!!
Favorite Element: Earth
Favorite Dr. Seuss Book: "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish"

Favorite Verb: Exist (as used as a state of
Favorite Thing About Your Least Favorite Person: Lives far far away from me.
Favorite Beatles Song: Norwegian Wood (isn't it good?)

Favorite Situation to Cuss: When I've stubbed my pinky toe.
Favorite Sandwich: Turkey Club.
Favorite Person to Cook With: Me. I always know what I need done. lol
Favorite Line From a Song: "The universe is hostile. so Impersonal. devour to survive. So it is. So it's always been. We all feed on tragedy. It's like blood to a vampire. Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies. Much better you than I"
Favorite Type of Humor: "British" humour. Some slapstick, wit and irony.
Favorite Painting You’ve Seen in Person: Some Andy Warhol American Indian Series painting at the DAI.
Favorite Person You Knew for Less Than a Day: Amber. A girl who stood with us for my first Geography class at Sinclair before realizing she was at the wrong class on the wrong day but gave me her "Job: A Comedy of Justice" book to read and it was amazing. Thank you Amber for being an awesome human being.

Favorite Dangerous Animal: Koala seriously don't sneak up on one!
Favorite Dessert: Chocolate Lava Cake or Tiramisu
Favorite Memory Spent with a Grandparent: Any moment with my Grandfather.
Favorite Halloween Costume: Walk in wearing all pink carrying a mini fan and an open can of I really need to tell you what this represents? If so, leave it in comments. LMAO
Favorite Person to Make Fun Of: Myself

Favorite Movie Soundtrack: Slumdog Millionaire
Favorite Musical: Grease! 
Favorite Fiber: Cotton or Alpaca 
Favorite Nocturnal Creature: Fruit Bat.
Favorite Body Part: Hips
Favorite Internal Organ
: Liver
Favorite Language: Hindi. It's so beautiful and easy to pick fun at.
Favorite Story to Tell
: I have so many, so I'll just say band camp stories.
Favorite Winter Sport: Curling
Favorite Coffee Drink: Cafe Mocha
Favorite Instrument: The Flute
Favorite Eye Color: Cerulean
Favorite Cuss Word: F*** Yeah, I know I'm a bad girl.
Favorite French Word:
Onomatopée Yup, that's Onomatopoeia in French LMAO.

Isn't this supposed to be green?

Candi went to sleep at a normal hour (gasp!) and having recently given me permissions to update her blog, how could I resist?!

There is one tiny little insignificant detail, which is, I know nothing about green living. Which means I had to learn something, something that I don't appreciate doing at 3:45 in the morning when my main goal is domination of my best friends blog, but alas I digress...

You know what's green? People.

People you say? Well, you can go to all kinds of websites to hear about horror dating fiascoes. Here is one I thought particularity funny:

"As a single mom, dating is not my top priority. However, I am a woman, and I do have certain needs that Ben & Jerry’s simply cannot satisfy. So, urged by some girlfriends, I created an online profile. I was immediately bombarded with offers from scary-sounding, -looking, or -acting men. I waded through the riff-raff and finally found a man who appeared to be intelligent, attractive, employed, educated, and did not abuse emoticons.

We emailed back and forth for a bit and decided to meet for coffee. By this point, I had already let him know that I have a kid. Half way through our date, he mentioned that he wasn’t sure he was comfortable dating someone with a child. I told him I appreciated his honesty and that I completely understood his position. Hell, before I got knocked up I never would have dated a man with kids.

“No, no,” he said ” I still want to see you, I just think we should talk about, um, disposing of the extra baggage. I know ways to make things look accidental.”

What the ever loving F? Needless to say, I flew out of that coffee shop. And that was my first last and only online date. From now on, I’m sticking to the divorced dads at Chuck E Cheese. At least they won’t offer to off my child!"

If you find yourself in a relationship with a person who is complete fail, recycle them. I'm sure there is someone equally fail out there in the universe in which they can create a utopia of fail together.

Or if you do decide to dispose of someone (Warning: it's illegal and bad, m'kay?) you can do it green. Check out this coffee table coffin:

I suppose it gives new meaning to "over my dead body"... I mean, what kind of coffee table book would you choose for this sort of thing?

Monday, February 1, 2010

I see your true colors...

and that's why I love ya!

Errr, OK maybe that's why I avoid you?

I put up a totally fake dating service ad like three months ago maybe? Well, fake name and personal info but REAL likes and dislikes and what I look for in men and what attributes I have and my pitfalls. I took all their matching tests and wrote down all my favorites. And so far...I've been pretty terrified! The "men" this program has been "matching" me with is just frightening! They are NOTHING like what I asked for, they can not spell or write in complete sentences which was CLEARLY my most important answer in the communications section.

What is wrong with the world today when a charming, semi-intelligent, nerdy girl gets hooked up with Cujo and Bubba? I fear for the world if these nice girls are being matched with total douchebag-losers and think they can't do any better! For the first time today I got sent my matches list and there he was (if I were single anyway lol) the perfect match...OK, not perfect but nothing is. He is witty, well educated, worldly, has a very caring face, and is a professional looking for his...*squeal tires here* INDIAN PRINCESS!??? What? Yes, ladies and gents a very charming Indian man was linked to me even though his wants state CLEARLY that he does not want any woman who is not Indian.

That being said, the moral of today's story is: don't trust the interwebz they ARE out to make your life miserable.

On the other hand...that's how I met my husband (on AOL IM way back when). HA! I'll tell you more about that subject in a later blog! TTFN!