Saturday, February 13, 2010

The DAY of Terror in Social Securitylandia!

It started out as a day unlike any other. Though a few days before I knocked over a glass of water onto my phone and now it's ALL kinds of messed up, so if you've called/texted me my phone doesn't light up for longer than thirty seconds before I have to shut it and open it might want to keep trying me. Now back to your irregularly scheduled blog:

The MIL came to help with the baby, we trudged to the Social Security office to get baby Nixie her SS card. We wait upward of 30-45 minutes bombarded with the "Awww isn't she cute's" and stares that comes with having any normal looking to adorable child. We get called back to visit the most condescending SS officiant ever. She actually (after she noted my ID was expired) said to me "'re not driving around on this are you?" No shit's expired and it's only an ID not a Driver's License! I'm so sick of Eff Wads with "titles." Then she remarks that my baby is grumpy because she made a noise while my MIL was holding her because she wanted down, but less than FIVE SECONDS went by and she was quiet again. She also threw in there that I should make sure to put the baby's coat back on before I go outside...come on! Just because I arrive at an office (that you work at) in the ghetto doesn't mean I totally neglect my children. I just might put in a complaint on this mega-biotch. Anyway, turns out I signed something at the hospital (FAIL MIAMI VALLEY FAIL) that makes them put in for a SSN right then and there. Miami Valley just had the wrong address so someone could be out there right now posing as my child using her SS card and number. This country is stupid someone move me and my family/friends to Europe QUICK!

So, now "condescendingbiotch" says to me: you can't get a card for her because we can't prove you're you without an ID...EXCUSE MOI!? I have three picture ID's my SS card and birth certificate. Who ELSE would I be? I had proven that she was the baby the card was for...but it's not good enough because my ID was expired? WTF SS? Anyway, we get the printout with her SS Number on it for tax purposes. Apparently they'll just hand out those to anyone, but NO not the official card that they sent to an old address because the hospital I was at didn't look at my re-admittance forms. So, then we're off back to the apartment to wait on the husband to return from putting in his rough draft of his Master's Thesis.

He gets home, I unload, and suggest hitting The Hong Kong Buffet here in Columbus, OH because it's PHENOMENAL! I mean, if you couldn't tell from the scent when you walk in you might be swayed by the fact that 75% of the diners you're seated with are Asian and it's right next to an Asian market lol. We head off to an awesome dinner where the MIL feeds the Baby Nix some tapioca wonderfulness. She eats some baba, goes back in her carseat, gets her customary Lucky Asian Ducky from the quarter machines as we leave and off we go for a relaxing car ride as we digest this wonderful meal of shrimp, crab, mushrooms, eggplant, wonton soup, and butter chicken.

As we are driving around I spot the most awesome sign ever!!! I mean EPIC! We drove past and I was laughing hysterically. The Hubs agreed that we must turn around and photograph said sign of wonder and delight and you'll find it below for your enjoyment and pleasure:

 Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen...The Fur Vault (and no it's not an adult superstore) is having a FUR BLOW OUT! Lest I repeat: the words blow out are not to be uttered UNLESS you are referring to your tires or your pants! Referencing BLOW OUT and FUR in the same sentence is enough to drive a woman to hysterical laughter. This was the highlight of my entire night! The remainder was quite terrible. I will relive last night in my next blog...coming VERY soon! <3 to you Fur Vault.

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